Goal Setting - Are you making this BIG mistake?

It's time for another post on goalsetting, as this seems to be something that people are still struggling with.

You're probably familiar with the idea of setting S.M.A.R.T.  goals; if not, read goal-setting-key-to-your-success.

You may even have delved into goalsetting, and you have a great "why" for what you want to achieve; if you don't know what i mean by that, read motivation-and-goal-setting-find-your-why.

You've found your why, and you know to set a SMART goal for the result you want, so what else is there??


Why you should make Process Goals. 
If you focus all your attention on results based goals, it will be very frustrating and demotivating

How to make a good & useful new years resolution

It's getting close to the time of the year when people start making the same resolutions as they have for the last few years. And it AMAZES me, it really fucking does. If you can plan and follow through on going on holiday, then you can develop a plan to get in the shape you want. And as for this shit of waiting for the 'perfect' time to start? What a crock of shit. It's a total cop out.

You don't sit in the drive waiting for every traffic light to go green before turning the key in the ignition. That'd be batshit crazy. And yet that's what most people do with

Shame. Despair. Determination. Results.

Rrrrrrriiiiippp!

Embarrassment.
Shame.
Mortification.
Despair.

Those were the things I was feeling so strongly it hurt as I walked down the aisle of the bus, my fat ass having destroyed the seam on yet another pair of oversized trousers.

But as I fought back tears and found a seat, there was something else bubbling up;

Resolve.
Purpose.
Determination.

This will NEVER. FUCKING. HAPPEN. AGAIN!

20+years later and it has never happened since. It took about a year and a half of hard work and sacrifice to get rid of 5 stone of useless fat. I hated 'working out', but it was necessary so I just got on with it.
And eventually, feeling a kind of self confidence I had never before experienced, I wanted to help others achieve similar feelings of greatness. But I knew there had to be an easier way to achieve the kind of result I'd gotten, so I applied my inner lazy bastard to refine what I learned from my experience, added a 5year degree in health & fitness and numerous professional development courses. From all of that there are only a handful of key things to get straightened out and you will be unstoppable.

I'm not going to tell you I have all the answers you need.. Because what I have are questions only you can answer. Because you think you want to lose weight, but weightloss is bullshit.

We will self sabotage at every turn to avoid loss. I help you reframe the whole process into what you have to GAIN.. better health, self confidence, and better sex are only some of the things you gain from getting your head straight. BUT I turn away more people than I take on as clients, because I ask tough questions and I am not afraid to calling you on your bullshit; I will not allow you to lie to me the way you lie to yourself, and at times you will probably think I'm an asshole; I'm fine with that, you're not paying me handsomely to be your BFF, you're paying me to guide you to the results you say you want, and I will not take on anyone who's going to be wishy washy and make half arsed attempts. Either you go all in, or you're not in at all.

If you're serious about making a massive change to your life. It will mean facing some up to some hard truths. This is uncomfortable but necessary in order to gain clarity and focus.
Then you can move forward with resolve.
With purpose.
With determination.

Let me help you change your life!
I'm looking for 7 people...
**want to get rid of 3 stone (or more)
**willing to face up to some uncomfortable truths
**based in Tralee or surrounding area
**ready & able to get started within the next 2 weeks

Contact me by phone or PM for more details on how to apply. 086 1945 040

Please share this post, so someone who would benefit from my help will see it.

Is your NYR really just an ADS?

I've talked a bit before about why I generally find the whole "New Year, New You" thing bloody annoying. In case you missed it, in a nutshell it's because most people make the same "Resolutions" year after year, and have given up by Paddys day if not much sooner.  

Not so much of a New Years Resolution then, as an Annual Delusional Statement. It might sound harsh, but it's probably true. So, how can you tell if you're delusional in terms of your health, fitness and/or weightloss goals for this year? You start by asking yourself the following questions:

What's your goal?

Why are you doing this?

What does your plan look like? 

What are you gonna focus on first?

What are you missing?

What are you doing but shouldn't be?

What aren't you doing but should be?

If you haven't answered those questions, then your resolution is more of a delusion, at the moment.  The good news is that going through this process every few weeks will help you to focus on what's important to you so that you get better results, faster. 

If you'd like my help to make sure this year you really do achieve your goals, get in touch and we'll see what your next steps should be. 

Malachy.

Why your New Years Resolutions fail again and again.

You'll hear lots of talk over the next few days about 'New Years Resolutions', and to my mind, it seems that the people making such a big beal about setting NYR's seem to be the same people who are making the same resolution year after year... 

"This year, I'm going to lose weight & get fit" 

This will usually last for a couple of weeks before 'New Year, New You' has become Same Shit, Different day.

The reason for this is often because there's no plan on HOW to achieve it, or even thought behind WHY it is important. 

When making the decision to take action on your health & fitness, it can be helpful to approach it like you were planning a holiday.

For example, this coming July, i'll be going to Dubrovnik, Croatia. I can take a flight, go by bus & rail across europe, or drive. Each way of getting there has its own pro's and con's. (in terms of speed, cost, simplicity, comfort, safety, enjoyability [other?] ) .

If you want to lose weight, put a number or clothing size on it and thats your destination. You can achieve that weightloss through dieting, joining a gym, hiring a personal trainer or health and fitness consultant, taking up a sport, taking dangerous "diet pills", having painful and expensive surgery etc., each of which comes with its own set of pros and cons. 

Along the journey there will be setbacks, moments where your willpower fails you,  you just say "f*ck it!" and roll over in bed listening to the rain beating against the window instead of going to the gym, or where you cave in and have the delicious cake that someone brought into work. I like to think of these things as being like getting a puncture on the way to the airport; it's unfortunate, and it's certainly going to slow you down a bit, but it's not the end of the world, because you started out in plenty of time, so you change it and get on with the journey.

What absolutely mystifies me is that when it comes to new years resolutions, it seems like most people would rather slash the other 4 tyres, set fire to the car and roll in the gutter feeling sorry for themselves instead of just changing the f*cking tyre! If you don't know how to change the tyre, call someone who can help you change it. Someone like me, for example, can help you plan your journey, and teach you how to deal with a puncture in a way that doesn't involve setting fire to the car.

A Pleasure or A Pain?

Getting your daily physical activity can be a chore, or it can be a pleasure, and it's your choice which way you view it. If you decide to view it as a chore, then you're much more likely to skip your mini workouts and come up with some bull$hit excuse as to why you couldn't take 4 minutes out of your day to take action on improving your health, fitness, and life in general. It's much easier to follow through when you decide to view it as a pleasurable challenge which will help you to develop not just your physical strength, but also your strength of character.

The recipe for my weight loss success

I frequently get asked for the "one thing" that allowed me to lose the 5 stone (70lbs/32kg) and keep it off. My answer is simple. There wasn't 'one' thing, but several different factors. I'll try to keep this post short, but no promises..

Step 1
Take responsibility & identify the problem. Sounds obvious, but most people steam ahead into trying to improve things with really knowing what they are trying to improve, and most importantly, why it's important to them.

Step 2
Identify current habits. Being overweight is a chronic condition, meaning it's a state that persists for an extended period of time. Eating too much on Christmas day and noticing that you weigh more on December 26th than you did on the 24th doesn't make you overweight. That's acute weight gain, you gain rapidly, and you lose it rapidly so long as that kind of eating isn't your average day. You're looking to identify your habits around food, activity, stress and sleep. Are you having a little or a lot?

Step 3
Start where you are, use what you've got, and do what you can. You're looking for small improvements in each. This can be as simple as a couple of forkfuls less, an extra 50 steps, 10 deep breaths exhaling with a sigh or going to bed 10 minutes earlier. If and when you can do better, do better.

Step 4 (optional but likely)
Screw up, fail or fall off the wagon. Congratulations, you're human. We all make mistakes, it's an essential part of the learning process. The trick is to identify why you failed, and plan a way to deal with that kind of situation for when it happens again so you can do better. Notice I say "plan" rather than aim or hope.

Step 5
Stay positive, and congratulate yourself on your success so far, even when you're not making progress as quickly as you'd like. Remember even if you're only shedding a half pound per week that's 26lbs in a year.

So my recipe for success?
Take a little self knowledge and add a handful of ambition; Add water. Reduce plate size and eliminate deep fried everything; Raise the temperature by exerting yourself more than normal at least 3 times per week, mixing activities to avoid boredom. Maintain a positive mental attitude; Reduce waistline and enjoy.

If you'd like to know exactly what I did to get rid of excess fat and drop 4 sizes, leave a comment.

Why you shouldn't need/want to lose weight.

I hear it all the time..

I want to lose some weight for my wedding

Or 

My doctor says I need to lose weight because of my (insert name of non-communicable medical condition here).

The fact of the matter is both are doomed to be successful failures. Allow me to explain. 

Goal setting 101

You've probably heard about setting SMART goals already, (if not, click here)so I won't bore you with the details here. Suffice to say the goals above, while worthwhile, aren't going to deliver any long term results.

They're too vague to be meaningful over a longer period of time.

Loss aversion.

As humans, our brains are wired to be loss averse. That means we will fight hard to avoid a loss. To give a concrete example, think of a person who continues to have their old car repaired, spending good money after bad simply because they've already spent so much on it. All the while knowing that they could spend less than the cost of the last repair on a newer model which will be more economical to run and to repair in future.

Let's use an example we can all relate to, a lost wallet or keys, or even worse, the mobile phone!  If you LOSE any of these things, you're going to try your hardest to GET IT BACK. Because we are loss averse.

The research that looks at long term weight loss is not encouraging. Almost everyone who LOSES WEIGHT will GET IT BACK within the next 5 years, regardless of what diet they use. 

I suspect this is due to a combination of the built in loss aversion we all share, and the weight loss mindset.

So I propose a shift in mindset.

This year marks the 20th anniversary of my mindset moment, though at the time I certainly didn't realise it was anything momentous! 

 I stepped up onto the bus and heard the familiar rrrrriiiipp that accompanied my fat ass busting it's way out of yet another pair of 40" trousers, my face turning the customary beetroot red. As I waddled my 17stone bulk down the bus to try & find a seat, mortified with embarrassment and ashamed that I couldn't even get onto a bus easily anymore, there was one thought foremost in my mind...

"This will NEVER. F**KING. HAPPEN. AGAIN!!"

The next thought was about finding a seat close to the front of the bus, but once that was done I was back to the bigger picture..

"I AM going to GET RID OF THIS USELESS FAT ONCE AND FOR ALL"

12 months later I was 5 stone lighter, and  seriously needed the belt on my 34" trousers. Having made the lifestyle changes needed to get rid of the useless fat, I'm completely smashing the statistics for long term "weight loss" (19 years later and still an easy 34"). I believe that's due mainly to mindset. I had my mind set on GETTING RID OF FAT, rather than LOSING WEIGHT.

There's another factor involved in the language here, and that has a crucial role to play. 

Lose weight - sometime, somehow, a magical body composition fairy will sprinkle some magical frosting on my cereal and my body will begin to shape itself into the one I want without me having to take any responsibility for my poor daily food and activity habits which have gotten me to this point. (Externalising responsibility and giving up control).

Get rid of weight - action is required on my part in order to make this happen. (Internalising responsibility and taking control).

The difference in language is subtle, yet powerful. Which is why I sometimes sound like a broken record on the topic of language. I will insist in changing language habits just as strongly as I insist on changes to eating and activity. Especially when it comes to words and phrases such as "I can't" or "it's (too) hard". 

If you want to see my angry drill sergeant side, persist in saying "I can't" and see what happens!

Challenge Yourself

"If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you"
- Mal Kelly

I'm sure some of my clients think I'm like a broken record with this saying, but I only repeat it until it sinks in, and they challenge themselves. The funny thing is, once they begin to routinely challenge themselves, they see real results! You can't make progress without getting out of your comfort zone, and once you get your head around that fact, THEN you can knuckle down and work on getting the results you're looking for.

Uh oh, I used that awful 4-letter word "work". Guess what? You want results you'll have to work for them; if there's no challenge, there's no change. And despite your efforts and intentions, there will be setbacks. Big deal, that's part of life!

A setback can be a setup for a comeback,.. so learn from each setback, learn from each failure, learn from each obstacle, and become stronger and better prepared for the future as a result.

You have to LEARN what will work for YOU if you want to achieve your goals, so here's something to think about:
"If you are unwilling to learn, no one can help you.
If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you."

YOU are the only one holding you back, the same as YOU are the only one who can drive you forward. Isn't it time you made yourself unstoppable?